My birthfather search has ended. Some would say in disappointment and other would say closure. I have found some information that has brought resolution and other information is bringing forth more questions.
He had resided in the same county that I lived in for many years in Monroe County New York. he passed away in Victor NY but resided in Honeoye Falls NY for the later years. He was 84 and a veteran of World War II. He was college educated and a rental property investory (landlord) for many years. Both my mother and him had there own families and did not wish to pursue a lasting relationship (ie marriage). The name listed on my birth cert is actually my mother's husband of her first marraige as they were only separated at my conception and not legally divorced. I had no knowlege of this fact until I was in my early to mid thirties.
I am in the process of learning and discovering new information and have not acquired skills that will assist in explaining this complicated situation to others. Almost all involved in my birth history are deceased or elderly.
I will be creating an online Memorial and have already had a quiet, reflective Moment this Sunday to mourn my loss of hopes and dreams of having a "real" or birthfather. I burned candles and said a few prayers and of course, did some writing.
It doesnt get much more embarrassing than this. My birthfather search did not end as exected as my birthomother has been less than truthful with me for years about the paternity subject.
ReplyDeleteShe has informed me that the man indicated on my birthcert is indeed my father and not mr goethals. I am confused and disappointed and greif is unending.
I have sent a letter to last known address to legal father and recieed no reply. It was an attempt and I am on hold for now to search further. My mother is streesing me out and i am thinking now that connecting with birthparents at me age will only bring grief becuase this is a very dependant age and my experienc ewith my mother has been rought with dissappoinment and fleeting close moments. I will get back this subject in the future